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Horrible Hormones


Horrible hormones...or lack of them in my case. To be honest ladies and gents, I'm sick of struggling with post menopausal symptoms. I've been unnecessarily brave, or just plain stupid? Possibly both! However, the sad death of Nicola Bulley, wether a tragic accident or not, the utterly disgusting release of her 'struggles' with the menopause resonated with me and many, many other women, I'm sure. If nothing else, I hope the tragic loss of her life is not in vain and despite the way her personal information was released, it helps save lives in the future. My thoughts and love are with Nicola's family.

My journey began when I was 45/46. Hard to pin point as my hormones were always rather angry about something. However, it was on a break in Berlin around my 46th birthday, that my periods decided to go missing and with them, my brain. My body followed soon after!

I'd always had really bad PMT since giving birth to my last child in 2001. I called it 'the rage', I could feel the adrenaline spike and the slightest thing would set me off. Afterwards, there would be tears and a feeling that I was really loosing the plot, also a real sadness, that I didn't feel in control of my own emotions. I'd always been a little highly strung, but this was different!

The menopause comes in its own way and on its own terms, with hundreds of possible symptoms. It can start as early as 35/40 and as late as 60, but generally it's somewhere in the middle. Peri menopause often starts when us mums are holding down jobs, homes and managing teenagers, its just so confusing and cruel!

I won't go over how I came to have my ovaries removed, as I'm sure its in a previous blog, but at the tender age of 47, I suffered post oophorectomy shock and those prolific egg producing flaying arms were gone forever. I didn't start my periods until I was 16, so I'm sure those egg boxes were still rather full!

I wasn't advised to have HRT because of previous endometriosis and fibroids. To be honest the whole process was brutal and lacking in real medical advice, I just had to grin and bear it even though grinning was the last thing I felt like doing.

If you are advised to have your womb and or ovaries removed. Think twice. Get lots of advice and a second opinion first.

I soldiered on and on and on. We do don't we?

7 nearly 8 years on, I am a shadow of my former self physically and I'm so fed up. Even my eye balls are dry! It's a rollercoaster I really want to get off. I still have a uterus which means I can suffer post menopausal thick womb lining and I have.

I'm exhausted.

I think given everything, the worst symptom for me is the hair loss. I've struggled with the topper and replacement extensions, as my hair is so fragile and so when I spoke to my friend Clare about all this yesterday, a fellow sufferer, she told me it's not too late for me to take HRT and so began my research.

From what I've read, I can still benefit from oestrogen only HRT and as under 10 years menopausal (uterus intact) I could indeed give it a go! In fact it could greatly help with many of my on going symptoms! Worth a try? I think so! I mean, any action at this point is positive, isn't it?

I have private medical and so have already had an online consultation this morning. Things really have moved on, even if we don't always think they have. When I had my ovaries removed, I was made to feel ashamed and left completely in the dark as to why the operation was my only option. No follow up help, other than being offered anti depressants, which I wouldn't take.


The menopause is a real conversation. Of course, we all know there's a way to go and I know that France remains very behind in both offering HRT and accepting the issue of the menopause as being a real danger to women's health. Education is key. Talking about it helps spread the message that we are not alone. We need to push for more research of course and we do need the option of menopause leave, Flexi working hours and menopause cZars in every community! We women need free medication. Menopause poverty is real, just as period and pregnancy, child care poverty are. We suffer for our sex and our families suffer too. Its not a sex discrimination thing chaps, its a real sanity check for us and for you! We need to save lives and also make those living with the change, better, much better and soon.

I will let you know how I get on.


D x

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