Don't worry, I'm not gonna waste my life worrying about ageing, the clock is always ticking! I am here, I am present and I'm trying to live my best life. Life is way too short to worry about how we look all day long, right? That said, I have had my little wobble, grieved a little for the loss of my cheeks and the rest of my eye sight. Oddly, my near sight has completely corrected itself and I'm now one of the few weirdos that can thread a needle easily without specs! Cruel eh! It is what it is and I've rallied as quickly as I wobbled, onwards I go with gumption.
Ageing is inevitable, beauty fades, our faces and bodies change over time, the journey shows and that's okay. It's just that we often need a little time to make the adjustments, such as a new skin care routine and bigger knickers! Lol!
I was completely honest with you about considering a bit of face work, a little nip and tuck, but I have decided instead to make those routine changes necessary. I've updated my hair care, skin care and clothing. It has indeed helped, a lot actually. I was stuck in a time warp and amongst many things I was trying to stick with a hair style that didn't suit me anymore.
I'm trying to pay more attention to ME.
I had a wardrobe full of clothes that didn't suit or fit, nor were they comfortable, so what was the point? They really were just taking up space, so some will be sold and the other bits will go to charity. Job done!
My already fine hair is thinning, but by using the appropriate shampoo and conditioner coupled with shorter layers, I'm now seeing a slight improvement. I've also just updated my makeup to include the Charlotte Tilbury brand having been very enticed by the 'glow' it gives one and actually it has definitely made me feel perkier.
We women do tend to put our needs on the back burner for far too long, don't we? We watch our girl children grow up, ensuring they are in the latest fashion, fab hair all set off by that youthful natural glow (not uni students, they drink too much!) and we lament the loss of who we once were. We are still here, still 18 in our heads I know, it's just the body has done a lot of work and needs an update or two, some rest, kindness and care!
The immediate 'post menopause' journey is as tough as the other many, many difficult stages really. Each stage requires a slight adjustment to the new you, me, us. It's okay and we do get there in the end. Different, sure, but better, yes! I always feel guilty moaning about the process and like I said in my menopause blog, it's very important to understand that it doesn't go on forever, it does end. You won't be quite the same but you'll still be wonderfully you.
I don't judge women, wether they have facial work or not, each to their own, but we all know how dangerous any surgery can be, how wrong it can go? I'm not ruling out a little 'sprinkle' of filler down the line but for now, it's a 'no' from me. I'm going to try and age gracefully (and a little disgracefully) and anyway, I do think its important for our sons and daughters to understand what real ageing looks like. All too often the media feeds them a lot of toxic nonsense about body and face perfection. Has anyone noticed how the Kardashians have crossed the line and are now so enhanced, they look like plastic dolls? I really don't respect fake shape, tiny snatched waists and huge bottoms! It's not real and it's also so very dangerous for body and mind.
In many ways, we have to learn to love what Mother Nature gave us. I'm 53.7 and looking positively at the next third of my life (all being well) as the best bit! It is the best bit I believe because at my age and beyond we should be better off, kids grown, no more fear of pregnancy and glad to see that back of the monthlies. We should have more time and of course know who we are, certainly better than we did in our 20's, 30's and 40's. I've been married to my husband throughout all of those important decades and I've changed and adapted my mind, body and soul to become a wife and mother, the journey continues. This next stage could see me becoming a grandmother, who knows, but I'd like to be a heathy, happy grandmother and I intend to be just that.
Here are some things you can do to help make the change to the new you!
Walk and or swim
Use shampoo for thinning hair and opt for less chemicals
Have a few days a week off the gin or wine and opt for non alcoholic replacements instead
Flex and stretch, move your body
Wear pads to help with bladder control if need be, but also exercise your inner muscles
Give yourself more time to warm up for sex and do use gels to help with dryness if it is a problem
Take supplements, especially Vitamins D, C and B12
Train your brain with puzzles etc
Look after your bone health
Eat well, less meat and more veg
For bloating and water retention look at having regular massages
Restless or painful legs - use a magnesium spray
Sleep issues? Consider a sleep mask, sleep music and keep a good evening routine. Nap if you want. Cut out caffeine if it's making you too wired.
Consider joining a menopause group so that you don't feel alone in your journey
Talk to your partner, family, colleagues and friends about the changes you are experiencing
Visit your doctor for advice on HRT or any alternative remedies
Report unusual symptoms to your doctor
Update your makeup routine
Have your eyebrows coloured and defined, they frame the face
Have your eyes/hearing tested
Update or adapt your clothes to suit
Dont forget to look after your feet!
Put aside time to ensure you have both down time and pamper time
Visit your hairdresser to discuss a re style and or update of colour
Take care of your skin, clean, tone, exfoliate and moisturise every day
If you can afford it, do have a facial once a month
Eat less and smaller portions to help with weight and digestion
Do consider counselling for yourself and or with your partner if need be
Please don't forget your partner might be struggling with your changes and his/hers. Don't expect him/her to know what to do or when, speak or forever hold your truth!
We can't live forever, but we can live and love our life, ourselves at every stage.