Life is messy

blow the bubble gum!

Find your crazy and wear it proudly......

Real life is anyway, very messy that is and it's why I continue to be open and honest about my life's journey, as messy as can be.

Why?

Well because we all benefit from reading real life stories and not an extremely edited version of the truth. Edited lives suck. They are not real and set the bar too high but I admire the effort it takes to look perfect.

Perfect?

Only fools believe in perfect and it must be an exhausting occupation.

I believe in openly flawed.

Perfect lives don't exist.

It's online commercial harassment, always selling something you really don't need. A shop is a shop and mostly its honest fayre. Influencers however, are just doing exactly that, influencing you. Some do it for good, most do not. They bid you want their lifestyle badly and you will pay for their designer goods with your hard earned money. I am just me. I don't believe you want my lifestyle but you are interested in my story because it is real, warts n all.

I honestly believe if you can't say out loud what's really going on, then you sour a little inside. Keeping it all in, stiff upper lip and all that, really is hiding your real and pretty. Of course I'm not saying you all hang your mucky laundry out to dry online, not everyone is comfortable doing that, you are entitled to to private life. I so am online and okay with it! I'm loud and proud. My life is so multifaceted, we've had feast and famine in equal measure but with gumption we always reset and get back on the train to a semi normal life. FYI, I've never coveted the title of 'normal' in my entire life. I'm a little bit cracked and I rather like it that way.

Also my love, if you don't like what I write, don't read it eh!

If you feel like you can't keep up with the Jones's then maybe when you read my adventures on here, you'll feel a little lighter? I hope so. Sometimes bad things happen to good people eh!

The older I get the more confident I am in who I am and what I do, but remember, as much as I share here, I do keep some for myself, just a morsel and of course, no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, although mostly you do with me!

Sometimes, we set off on an adventure thats supposed to be better than our old lives, only to find out we got on the wrong train, not to heaven but to actual hell. France was not for us in the end. Still, we tried many times to convince ourselves that it was, alas we just wasted time and money. I'm quite sure if done differently and in a different area with hind sight we could have made it work. Sure. We are now unwilling to try. The thing is, we learn from our mistakes but that doesn't mean we want to go again.

I'm not really worried about the judgement, we know there will always be those sat there having their say, spinning it all negatively, but at least we tried and like I've said before, we aren't failing when we are trying. Plus, I've always gone on the premise that no one died, so in essence it can't be that bad! We can absolutely go on and make wonderful lives.

Yes, it will take some years to repair the financial damage we did to ourselves in France. Was it pointless? No, because we learnt alot about ourselves, each other and of course life and business in France. We had a jolly good go at renovating and already feel we would do things differently. We couldn't have known what was going to happen to us and especially not the rogue accountant or the 60ft articulated lorry, along with the local mayor and friends harassing us. How could we?

I've no doubt my online profile stopped that nonsense, because I could call them out on my platform. Please never be tempted to say to a foreigner 'it's their country, do as they say'.....guys and gals, the law is for everyone! Don't be bloody ridiculous!

I really can't stand bystanders and I marked many, many cards around me in France. If you know something wrong is happening right under your nose and you won't help........please don't darken my door again eh!

'Keeping stum' as they say, is just about being frightened of being judged. The information highway can bite celebs on the bum of course, but everyday folks like me, we are just not that interesting and also, once its out, it's out and no one can haul us over the coals with it.

In friendships, I've learnt that if you've not invited me to hang out at your home in my PJ's with your loved ones, if you miss my birthday every time or don't invite me to yours, then you are not my best friend, you are a close acquaintance, rising, if you are lucky. If you've not tried to feed my sorry celiac arse, then I will judge you for not trying and if you could have helped me in times of crisis but didn't, then as I would have helped you in a heartbeat, you go lower down my list of future priorities. Friendships are equally messy but they should be equal, don't pretend. People can often see when someone is in trouble and if they don't act, lean in and lift you back up, then clearly they are nothing special. Move on. Don't be a fair weather friend, it's not nice.

I rarely do things on line supporting others for likes, because honestly they do not generally reciprocate and they do that because they think they are better than me. I do it because I genuinely like what they do and expect nothing in return. However, it does beggar belief the entitlement! I've done it all online for the last two years without any help really, bar my good friends Di and Tia, who often help in the back ground when I need it, bless em. It's sad but folks like to be successful and that's that, there's rarely any sharing of that success. I've found Brits to be the most anti success unless on their own doorstep. Clap your chums on lovelies!

There's also a general misunderstanding about my writing. Will I write about you? Probably not. More likely if you've done me wrong and not put it right, but you'd know because I will have made you aware. There are those that read my tomes looking for a mention good or bad? It is odd. The thought of anyone reading my ALL my shit just to see if they can have a go at me about something, is just weird. It's simply unhealthy. If you are worried, ask me.

Still, I will always call out the bad uns. They already know who they are, I'm just shining a spot light on their crap. Hopefully, that way they will either learn to behave or stop pretending they are good at their work, selling folks short and taking money under false pretences, then crying foul. God we had way too much of that when we first started renovating. I am indeed relieved that bit is over. There is one protaganist that will always stick out. He was litterally winding everyone up including us. If we'd have listened more carefully to him talking about others in our midst. we'd have realised he was the catalyst all along! He is an older chap late 60's, talked more than he ever worked and a good half of his work had to be re done. It occurred to us after a while that he was the main gossip mongerer too. He worked for us for two years or so and actually did a lot of damage to us and other workers reputations locally. He was hiding in plain sight and I kinda knew it, but I wasn't there as much as Philip. Had I been there I would have listened to my intuition and he'd have been gone! He was GONE once I was there full time.

Do you know why people get away with poor behaviour? It's because no one calls them out publicly!

I do think it's an EXPAT thing, particularly British, not all of course. Still, very rare you meet a contractor that does what he/she says on the packet. You do have to dig deep to find the good ones as they are also very busy!

The ones that reinvent themselves on the boat over, always appear to want to slip and slide, take five times longer than they should and as I said on my FB page, talk for England. Most decent contractors can balance work and play. They only want to do a good job because putting food on the table is more important than playing games. If you are a decent human, then please don't look here for a mark up, only bad ones need apply for their latest demerit.

People sometimes fear people like me. I don't know why, because as I said unless you've gone above and beyond bad you wont get a mention. If you've surprised me with good deeds then if allowed I may mention you by name. I have my good pile and my bad pile and never the twain shall meet.

Also, I do see and hear more than people realise. I do not generally concern myself with stuff thats not my business. However, if you think I am unaware of something you did or said, you are on the wrong path. I have eyes in the back of my head and people like to tell me whats what, without me needing to ask.

As good as it is to be moving on from the renovation from hell, as I said we've had good uns on the job, in fact some are still there, finishing off. I think renovation is a calling, its tv romantised and often not all that. In the end it takes everything out of you and puts finances and marriage under strain. It's all encompasing. It's more about trips to the DIY store and no social life than a love story.

Would I do it again?

Yeah, probably, but not in France.

Also not right now. We need time to consolidate. Time to heal. Time to think about life after France.

Dx