In our own time.......

Calming those intrusive thoughts......!

Sooooooo important to understand that our individual lives are just that, individual. We aren't here to play SNAP or copycat. We have to live authenically and develop our own talents, our own way. Social media is noisy, it can totally play with your mind and make you feel like you are lagging behind, not making progress and also sometimes.....failing.

We never fail if we try!

My thought process in the last few days has been rather negative. Firstly, I thought about retiring from the socials!

Am I too old? Still relevant? Flogging a dead horse?

Why am I here? I'm 15 years in on many different platforms, it's not really helped me or has it?

What would I do with all those words in my head?

The FB page has lost 1000 followers, is restricted for a year after being hacked and so whats the point?

My insta has lost 6000 followers in a year!

I got stuck in a love/hate relationship with life in France.

That’s done a decade on.

I've lost the will to live frankly!

It feels like a game one cannot win, despite the effort put in.

Then of course I remember how lucky I am to have been able to build the community and have such loyal followers, many older than me! It's not a competition and the numbers don't matter, not with age or likes. I guess, I will do it anyway and I'm just as relevant as any other human on this planet, I suppose?

Although, I may retire from certain aspects as I grow as a midlife human but I don't believe I will ever stop blogging. I hope to write myself off this planet at some stage but hopefully not in the near future! So, I'm sure when the time is right I will figure it all out and it will feel like the right time.

Then there's life post the floral design course. I was the oldest by 28 years at least! It didn't do my mental health or confidence any good at the time. Plus, I looked like a potato on camera no matter the angle! Pfffft! How does one look fab against the glow of youth! (Answers on a postcard 😉).

I was also very aware of the lack of time I have left in which to make my mark. At 57 I don't have the time, energy or ambition of the 30 somethings I worked with or do I?

I think I do and 5/10 good years minimum of doing what I love is better than not bothering right?

Right!

Age is just a number.

Next up is getting experience in floral design. I know I can do it but I now need to practice it, in order to build a portfolio. So far my attempts to get work even unpaid have come to nothing. Don't get me wrong I know some are put off because of my online profile but I do think that’s very near sighted and a little bit silly. There are many sides to me and I do know how to keep business and pleasure separate. I also realise most newbies just advertise and hope for the best, but I truly believe experience is key to a successful business. Personally, I doubt I would ask a newbie to do my wedding! So I know that if I end up with a shop, I will happily help new florists get that experience. It's so necessary to lift others up!

Don't see me as competition, see me as free help!

Lastly, and I hate to admit this, but I've been on a fairly strict diet for about 5 weeks now. Mainly to ensure my knee recovers well but also for my mental health. To be honest I haven't seen huge weight loss but we are only just over a month in, theres time yet! Usually I would last two weeks on any kind of health kick maximum, so this is progress.

The biggest lifestyle change I've noticed since France is the lack of wine! I tend to drink once a week now if that, then often only if other people are here and there's a party atmosphere. Drinking in France is very cultural but I'm going to say this.......they drink too much and culture or not, it's not terribly healthy!

In France there was always a reason to drink alcohol and the weekly wine haul became a thing in our home too. The army taught me to drink but France finished me off! There are sadly a lot of expats that are really on the verge of alcoholism! True story.

I always thought my midlife weight came from wine but so far those scales are saying otherwise! Very disappointing.

My knee? I twisted it last September when out walking and it's been slow to heal. My neck and shoulders have finally recovered from the terrible AIRBNBN bed and pillow situation when on the floral course. My joints were creaking under the weight strain and so I had to act! I'm aiming for a very healthy active old age! I simply have to strike whilst the iron is hot, 57 and not seriously old and immobile! It is possible to stop degeneration in it's tracks, it just takes an honest conversation with self!

That said, as we've not had a pudding treat for a while, I shall be baking today! After all a little of what we like is good for us! Moderation and control eh! I will never starve myself, fact!

My final musing today is about having the gumption to support others without worrying about how it will affect you or me. It doesn't affect you or me! It's good to support others businesses and talents. There's room for everyone. Joining communities and clapping each other on isn't bold, it's brilliant, much needed and just as it should be! We don't do it to get it back and often sadly it doesn't come back. I know this to be true because I've shared so many new businesses over the years and only once or twice has anyone shared mine. It's noticable but it really doesn't bother me. I share because I like it not because I feel forced to.

Keep going.

Namaste!

Love and gumption

D x